Damn dating is tough! I knew it would turn that way eventually, but it all has gotten difficult now.
Graham is out, although he is still available over in the SouthWest side of town if I want him to be.
Kellen is the newest man in my life. Although, he made things too intense by wanting to see me like everyday. Actually, I suppose that I started wanting to see him more too. I don't know if it was because he was so available to me and wanted to be around me so much. In a way, he reminded me of my ex Fullam. When we were so young and met each other, we became inseparable immediately. So it felt good to be wanted like that, but I don't want a clingy relationship like that either. SO after a whole 2 weeks, we are on a break where I don't want to see him and see what happens. The main problem is that he wants a deep relationship, where I want easy and light.
Alex came back into my world for about a week. In that week he became incredibly hurt by the fact I was dating others and that he wanted me back. Then he started trying his hardest to woo me back into his life.... and I mean poetry and flowers and saying everything I've ever wanted to hear. But, I don't want that seriousness in my life!!!!!!!!!!! Now, he needs "space" which I'm happy to give him. He gave it to me too when I needed it. Although he still needs to text me miserable messages or call me from time to time, which is stressful. Still, I make myself available to him when he needs because I really do care I just don't see a future there right now.
Doug is my ginger. I didn't even realize he was a red head the first night we met, because the club I was dancing in was so dark I thought his hair was brown. He is awesome. He loves music like I do and adventures and we share a lot in common. However, Doug took on his own business just last year so he is neck deep in his own work, trying to make that run steadily. I actually like the fact that he can only see me once a week. I'm always excited to see him and he normally plans something amazing for us to do. Although, seeing him so seldom is hard for me to really get to know him.
It's hard now because I don't want to be in anything serious, yet my emotions are starting to come back. Kellen and I speak on this deeper level, trying to understand each other. Doug I have the most in common with and just have fun with. I'm betting that neither of them are going to last which is perfect because it's what I need, but jeez how do people casually date???
